Parashat Toldot

Rabbi’s Drosh

Every year when we read Parashat Toldot, I am always taken with the powerful message of empathy in this week’s Parasha.

The Torah describes the way in which “Isaac entreated Hashem opposite his wife”. This one line contains the most amazing lesson about what happens when we care about each other.

Rashi brings the idea that Isaac and Rebecca were literally praying opposite each other – She was in one corner of the room and he was in the corner across from her and they could see each other and experience each other’s emotions. In addition, the meaning of praying opposite each other is also relevant on a deeper level. The Midrash explains that Isaac looked across at his wife and prayed for her to have a child, and Rebecca looked across at Isaac and prayed for him to have a child.

If we want to pray for others, the most effective way is to stand “opposite” them - like Isaac and Rebecca. We need to see another person’s situation and feel their suffering. To stand “opposite” is to engage our empathy.

In 2017, I remember reading about research from Tania Singer (a world expert on empathy) and thinking of Parashat Toldot and this powerful moment of prayer with Iasac and Rebecca. In a landmark study, she discovered that the brain regions that are active when we feel pain also react to the knowledge that a loved one is being hurt in much the same way.

It is not solely about empathy however, but there is also a spiritual power in praying for others, which rewards the person who is praying. The Talmud offers this idea about why it is important to pray for others, saying “whoever prays (to Hashem) for mercy on behalf of his friend, while he himself is in need of the same thing, he will be answered first”.

We hope that we can pray opposite each other again soon literally by coming back to Shul but in the meantime let us pray figuratively opposite each other with empathy remotely!

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Friedler